Why I may choose to not get on board Chennai Express…

Dear King Khan,

I have been an ardent fan of your work all along, watching your movies. Be it your misfires like Guddu, Dil Aashna Hai or Badhshah to all your blockbusters or even the recent lukewarm flicks like Ra.One and Jab Tak Hai Jaan… 

However, I cringe to say that this fan might just skip your latest masala-Rohit Shetty-shtyle take on cinema in the South. The reason may be a mere assumption or a gut feeling that you, along with Rohit Shetty are out there on a mission to spoof Tamil Cinema and expect high praise and applause!

I have to admit that I don’t know the premise, story or the director’s so-called vision for this movie. Having said that, the promos easily give an inkling of what’s in store. We all know your history and histrionics at taking a dig at south Indian cinema and their characters (the ‘enna rascala, mind it’ shenanigans in OSO or the ambitious Ra.One where you play a south Indian father and mess up the character royally), giving me all the more reason to fear the look and feel of Chennai Express. Incidentally, being a south Indian, I haven't come across the terms 'enna rascala' or 'mind it' outside of your movies.

Traditionally, south Indian characters were stereotyped in Hindi Movies, be it Mehmood in Padosan or Mithun in Agneepath, and now Chennai Express is giving more than mere hints (through Deepika’s dialogue delivery, the lungis, the fat goons and the likes) to take this stereotyping on a larger scale. What is interesting to note is that actors in your league (the likes of the Dabangg Khan, Aamir the perfectionist, or Rowdy Kumar) have all done movies inspired by the south, paying homage of sorts, but never once caricatured them and gotten away with it!

Your version of South Indians is quite different from what it really is.  I have come across two online articles and strangely, both are inspired by your movies.

http://www.firstpost.com/living/yenna-rascalla-south-india-for-non-madrasi-dummies-985309.html?utm_source=hp-footer

&

http://heartranjan.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/the-world-of-south-indians-according-to-shah-rukh-khan/

My heart skipped a beat almost when recent news reports confirmed of a “tribute” to superstar Rajnikant through a music video titled ‘lungi dance’ by an uncanny combo of yours with Honey Singh. I wonder if this should be called a master stroke in marketing or a disaster in waiting! Why in heaven’s name Rajnikant would need an endorsement of any kind from you, still worse, from Honey Singh??!!

Let me set the record straight. I am an avid movie buff; watch every kind of cinema and my views do not in any way reflect the quality of Hindi movies. With your by now infamous well oiled promotion strategy well in place and the  songs topping the charts,  it is a no-brainer that Chennai Express will make its way to the blockbuster club (which strangely is Rs.100 Crore nowadays without giving any weightage to the cost of production).  But I would prefer not to 'get set po'  and be content with the fact that I did not contribute  to the impending atrocity!

Off late, I can see your sincerity turning into desperation for a blockbuster. But please don’t look for shortcuts like Chennai Express!  You should know that there is a sea of difference between paying a tribute and making a caricature of something. 

While I choose to miss the train this Eid, I am confident that the screen will once again light up with another memorable portrayal, just like the innocent Sunil from Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa or the flirtatious Raj Malhotra from DDLJ, the confused yet determined Mohan Bhargav from Swades or the intense Kabir Khan of Chak De!

Hope you scorch that screen again for your fans!

-         A humble fan from south India!

Kamal’s Wish-waroopam!

I have, in the past, expressed my thoughts on the entire mockery of the Censor (now Certification) Board, censorship issues and its seriousness when the Amitabh Bachchan-starrer Aarakshan went through a fate similar to Vishwaroopam. While the thoughts and irking remains the same, the tamasha played out and the hardship of one of the most respected entertainer in the country made me revisit the issue.

To put things in perspective, Vishwaroopam is a well-made slick entertainer, easily comparable to international standards. To quote a review from firstpost.com – ‘Perhaps this is the first time that Kamal looks justified in his life-long obsession with the technical flourish of Hollywood’.

Does it offend Muslims? Since the plot is about an Al Qaeda attempt to explode a bomb and the protagonist’s mission to prevent it, the filmmaker ended up showing their background, training methods etc.  Unfortunately, Al Qaeda has Muslim members and they could not have shown that differently. Yes – the film could have possibly offended Jihadis and I am sure the protesters were not Jihadis.  In fact, there is a scene in the film in which the protagonist offers prayers (namaz) before he goes for the final kill. Should they not be happy as the story is about a good Muslim who takes on terrorists? 

Why did they protest? My answer is simply another question – why did they not protest vehemently in other states as they did in Tamil Nadu? Are the Muslims in Tamil Nadu different from Muslims in other States? The answer lies in the fact that Kamal gets hurt only if this movie not released or delayed in Tamil Nadu.  The impact won’t be much if it is banned elsewhere. For the record, Kerala, Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh have more Muslims in terms of numbers as well as percentages as compared to Tamil Nadu.

Logic behind the ban?  While the reason behind the ban in itself is debatable, what was amusing is the ‘significance of 2-week ban’. What would have happened if Kamal has not gone to High Court?  Could he have released the movie after 2 weeks?

Did protesters achieve anything in the entire process? No, would be my answer considering cutting less than 10 minutes does not change the concept. On the other hand, the movie got huge publicity in northern India and had a decent opening for its Hindi version, which would not have happened otherwise.  However, the real reason behind the protest still seems extremely unclear to me! 

Do we need a Censor Board?  In spite of the Supreme Court’s decision on ‘Aarakshan’, which stated that the UP government had no powers to suspend screening of the film on the ground that it may cause breach of peace, States continue to hold filmmakers for ransom. The latest we hear is that the Centre has set up a committee to revisit the Cinematograph Act and recommend measures to enable the Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) to deal with “contemporary requirements of certification”. I am certain all of us would agree that the problem in hand is not the way films are censored or the lacunae in Cinematograph Act. The problem is the harassment created by fringe groups and the onus of States to protect their filmmakers. 

Click on image to see a satirical take on
future film certification, doing rounds
on social networking sites

On a lighter note, the Committee should look at having members from all religions / castes in the censor board.  Yes, protests can emerge even from sub-sects within these religions / castes! How can we solve that problem? It’s simple - by increasing the number of members to accommodate all of them. Or – why not reservation in the censor board also so that everyone is represented!  Another option would be asking the filmmakers to show the movie first on Doordarshan and give time to viewers to object. After addressing all the objections, the film can be allowed to release. It might take a few years or it may never see the light of the day at all. But how does it matter, after all peace and harmony is solely dependent on the kind of movies being made!

Looks like these things are here to stay as the latest we hear is some Christian groups protesting against Mani Rathnam's  Kadal…… which just hit the theatres.