My journey from ‘Thanmathra’ to ‘The Father’ - the story of 'vacant eyes'

This is not a review for any movie but an attempt to trace mine and my family’s journey as care givers, which started with curiosity and fear, but ended in complete disbelief. 

In the year 2005, I happened to watch the Mohanlal masterpiece called ‘Thanmathra’ which introduced me to the world of ‘Dementia’ or ‘Alzheimer’s’.  While we did feel sad about what we saw on screen, as a plain movie buff, we focused on the making, story, performance,  creativity and other elements that maketh a movie a masterpiece! I ended up lauding the movie and watched it few more times.

Fast forward to 2022, when I watched ‘The Father',  an English movie which won Anthony Hopkins an Academy Award, my outlook had changed. To quote from one of the reviews of the movie, ‘The Father takes a bracingly insightful, subtle and nuanced look at encroaching dementia and the toll it takes on those in close proximity to the afflicted’.  

While the movies are not comparable but for the subject and to set the context,  both Thanmathra and The Father dealt with this demon of Dementia. While we enjoyed Thanmathra from a creative point of view and felt sad at what we saw on screen, we could not directly connect with the theme, but by the time I watched ‘The Father’, we were living the movie.  It was pure nostalgia filled with sadness, empathy, helplessness, guilt, frustration, anger and all kinds of negative emotions in the world. It was a living experience and a chronicle of what we went through – me personally, and as a family, when my mother was diagnosed with Dementia and our journey through it.

I am sure there is plenty of literature, stories, characters, reference points to explain what this phenomenon called ‘dementia’ is.  But I somehow felt that I should put down a first-hand account of the journey.   I remember the exact words of the Doctor when he confirmed that my mother has developed symptoms of dementia; his statement still echoes and he said ‘for this disease, the treatment is for the care-giver and not the patient’ as apparently there is no medical cure for this.  Typically, medicines are given to slow down the process which may or may not work.  Looking back, blame it on my arrogance or over confidence, I shrugged off his statement. Eventually, I was proved wrong several times through the journey, situations did break me down and the Doctor’s words turned gospel.  What the whole journey does is to test your ability, belief, confidence, relationships, decision making (while you are still in the know that you can’t make any decisions), social skills, professional front and what not! 

Bit of a flashback…

Ammai - A woman born in a not so well to do family (using this safe word rather than saying ‘poor’ as I would guess that was normal those days), lived her childhood consuming mostly the food freely distributed from the Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Trivandrum, primary school education, helping the family make pappadams and sell it for a living and then marrying my dad probably because he agreed to marry her without any demands.

The one word I would use liberally for describing her is ‘brave’.  She brought us all up (six of us) alone while my dad was away all the time during the better part of our childhood.  He initially served in the Indian Navy and then spent his time in the Middle East in the Merchant Navy to make a living. We are talking about 30 plus years of struggle, brining up the six of us (As I write this, I am still at loss and confused dealing with my one kid).   Of course, people in the family did help her, especially my Chittappa

(Appa's  younger brother), who played an advisory role in our education and general disciplining.  But the hard work of managing the flock was hers.   We all were provided good education and all of us are doing fairly well for ourselves now.   She ensured that we all went to the best schools available at the time and were given enough freedom to do what we all wanted.  While she was a tyrant when it came to school affairs, we were all given the option to pursue sports / music and freedom to do whatever we wanted apart from education. Personally, I was given an exposure to Kalari (the oldest martial art in the world), learning mridangam (though a given in a Tam-brahm family) , part of the air wing in school (this takes lot of time away from studies) and was allowed to attend wha RSS shakhas those days (where was exposed to yoga as well – a buzzword now). Alas,  I didn’t pursue any of these in the long term. This might sound trivial, but the fact that someone naturally did all these (being now preached and promoted by all modern-day education counsellors as some kind of ‘out of the box’ thinking) decades ago, in itself is commendable. 

Those were growing up years, but the struggle didn’t end there.  While she outlived my dad who passed away in early 90s, she had to endure the loss of her favourite son in his early 30s to an accident, with whom she was living all along. Looking back, this probably happened when she was in her comfort zone or to say in a colloquial way – ‘life was set’ types.   Living in Kerala, familiar terrain, with her son and daughter-in-law in a ‘nothing can go wrong’ situation, that I presume would have been the ultimate jolt.

The journey continued.. she spent her rest of her life with all the children, living in Delhi, Chennai and Bangalore and finally settling to live with me in Bangalore (while visiting other children and grandkids visiting us regularly). She managed to make every place her own by making her own network of friends and acquaintances. Even at the age of 75, she could move around on her own in long distance trains without any apprehension or fear.

The demon called ‘dementia’ creeps in…

Needles to state - this is the hardest part of the whole journey.   The puzzle of ‘when, how and why’.  As a care-giver, trust me, your whole life is spent on figuring out these three things and even now we contemplate whether we could have done something different.  Of course, there is no answer to this but just imaginations, presumptions and assumptions, mostly to satisfy ourselves.

Looking back, in my college days, one of my friend’s paati (grandmother) had this.  I used to spend lot of time in his house and his paati (who was then in 80s) hallucinated a lot.  One of the episodes I vividly remember is she would suddenly come and say there is fire in the room and would ask us to douse the fire.  Those days, we used to laugh It off and branded her as ‘vattu’ in Malayalam (or something wrong mentally).  We never figured this is a health condition which needs attention or compassion. The image of the old lady was a constant thing which haunted me through this journey and Ammai  used to behave the same way at later stages.

In our case, it probably started off as some kind of confusion.  We live in a gated community and she was regular with her evening walks. One of those days, a friend of mine called me and told me that my mom is asking for directions to our house from a security.  Very innocuous as we all at some point in life tend to forget a few things.  It can be a name, place or incident.   But that probably is the first time I thought there could be  a problem. We observed her for few days and it emerged clearly that something was amiss.  Few episodes which still strike me are – she would keep asking for food (forgetting she already had), confusion with place of stay (she spent a lot of time in Chennai with my sister and when in Bangalore, she would say she is in Chennai and vice versa), confusion with time (getting up after the afternoon nap and asking for breakfast) etc. 

We approached a Neurologist and our worst fears were confirmed.  There was a neuropsychology analysis conducted where they check the stage of deterioration.  Those days she was an avid Malayalam newspaper reader and would get restless if she didn’t get her newspaper in the morning on time.  Probably as most old people do, she would directly go for the ‘obituary’ section to check for any known names.  But what hit me during the test was she could not figure out the current year and to a question who was the prime minister, she answered Indira Gandhi.   Our journey with the demon officially started that moment, sometime in 2017. 

Probably the worst development from her own perspective was when she realised something is wrong with her and started getting worked up over that. 

Reasons (pure pondering without logic)..

This is something which is pure guess work or there is no medical way to find out the right reason for this demon.   In the process of pondering what we could have done differently, two things do come to my  mind.  

Moving from a comfortable location to a new location. Sometime in 2016 we moved to a gated community from a small apartment complex.  In the old complex, her routine was set – lots of friends to sit with in the evenings in a nearby park and an Ayyappa temple nearby.  She used to look forward to her evening sojourn (akin to small kids waiting for the evening to go and play with their friends) and the whole thing got disturbed when we moved to this gated community.  While the safety part was taken care of, the networking bit was lost.   Given her nature, she did make lot of friends in the new place also but somewhere lost her zeal in the process.

Few physical ailments resulting in her inability to do household chores.  For people in that generation, from the time they could do something independently (from a very young age) this household chore became the only constant thing.  Like people of that generation, she was passionate and took great pleasure to do all these. She was legendary for her hospitality and this stopped due to a couple of falls she had and maybe the idleness or dependence could have caused some issues. We also, for safety purposes, curtailed her kitchen expedition as she used to forget to switch off gas or hurt herself if something went wrong in the kitchen. 

While the above can be far away from truth or cause, to repeat, trust me this is the first thing a care giver will engage in when this demon hits someone close.   They will keep thinking about what could have caused this and needless to say, there is no answer to this question.  All the science in the world is yet to come up with a solution to this conondrum.   Some say being inactive or loneliness can cause but I have seen this affecting very active persons also. One of the doctors I met initially told me to increase coconut oil intake and use turmeric as it can increase memory.  Ironically, hailing from Kerala, I have not seen any other oil being used at our house for cooking and turmeric can be found in each dish in large quantities.  While scientifically the suggestion could be true, in our case, that was definitely not the cause.  

Physically she was in good condition till last few days, she had mild BP and no diabetes, which is commendable given the lifestyle diseases prevalent nowadays, even in youngsters.  So, we are still clueless and keep thinking about it. 

Her mental condition continued to deteriorate; it became difficult for her to identify even close relatives.  Many weird things would happen.  To cite a few;

·    She would get up in the middle of the night and say ‘station has come and we have to get down’ thinking she is in a train,   

·    She used to go to the nearly pharmacy and gobble up pain killers thinking she has some headache and it will get cured, 

·    While we have all kind of fruits and snacks at home, she would go to the supermarket and buy one banana or few biscuits and eat (probably to satisfy herself that she is still in control of things), 

·    She wanted to know whom she married and where he was -to the extent that she used to wait for him at the door. Once I showed her marriage picture and she flatly refused to acknowledge that it was her.

·   She used to keep mentioning that her kids are young and gone to school and she has to keep snacks ready when they come back. 

·    She once mentioned that I am not living with the woman I married and was living with someone else.  

·    She constantly wanted to go back to Kerala to live with his son who passed away in late 90s.

·    She used to keep her sarees in a bag saying that she is a guest and has to return to Kerala soon (till we started hiding all the bags)

·   Her only prayer to her favourite Padmanabhaswamy was to take her life soon.  Alas, gods probably had other plans.

The list is too long and many instances are very hard to even recollect, but just the thought of narrating to demonstrate how bad things can go.

The last days…

The end (physical end as I would like to call it) did finally happen in February 2023.  To our respite, we had engaged a full time, live-in care taker to spend time with her and we remain grateful for the commendable job she did in looking after Ammai during her last days.  She took care of her impeccably and brought some discipline in her life to the extent that they used to go for evening walks till the end (but for the last 2 weeks).  She also efficiently managed when they both got COVID. In Ammai’s case, COVID was mild and didn’t impact her as much which probably demonstrates the physical resilience or strength she had.

Her health did deteriorate in the last 2 weeks and we were interacting with doctors and doing some tests etc.  But finally, she had a cardiac arrest and passed away at home in her own bed. It’s the first anniversary month now and this attempt is to summarise our tryst with Dementia

In one of the interviews, renowned actor Anupam Kher had mentioned that his worst fear is to ‘lose memory’. Losing your own memory and not knowing who they are.  He also used a term to explain the condition of a dementia affected person, that is they have ‘vacant eyes’.  There is no better way to word the situation and I totally resonate with this.  

Unfortunately, statistics are stacked against humanity in this respect.  As per the World Health Organisation, there are over 10 million new cases of dementia each year worldwide, implying one new case every 3.2 seconds. There are over 55 million people worldwide living with dementia in 2020. This number will almost double every 20 years, reaching 78 million in 2030 and 139 million in 2050.)  https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/dementia)

While the situation is bleak globally, the culture of family bonding in India makes it more difficult for us to handle.  Typically, in the western world, while it’s not a criticism, they start living separately and have their own life and space since a very young age.  In India, parents live with us and it is very difficult for us to consume what happens to them in front of our eyes.  

We are looking at a colossal crisis (underway) if no cure is found.  Without trying to sound preachy as I am no medical expert, first signs are critical and cannot be taken lightly as I understand in initial stages some counselling, memory exercises etc. can delay the deterioration. So, watch for it. 

Though I have come across this many times, even in very close families, what you experience first hand cannot be explained. The reason for choosing a filmy title and connection is also to establish a differentiated mindset,  the mind set when you watched ‘Thanmathra’ years ago (incidentally I watched this with Ammai and she loved the movie) and the mind set when you watched ‘The Father’.  

I am sure as care-givers we struggled, cried, cribbed, felt helpless, cursed, shouted, fought, argued, got upset and what not... but just the thought of what they go through is inconceivable.  

I will conclude with something I read online,“Remember, the dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time and we being there is incidental”.

Petta – Extraordinary Time Travel for an Ordinary Fan

This attempt is not a review, nor a recommendation, neither a fan’s chest thumping, but a humble attempt to deconstruct the mind of an ordinary Rajini fan. A lot has been written about Petta since its release, especially described with terms such as Rajinified’, ‘Pettafied’, ‘Vintage Rajini’, ‘Thalaivar is back’, ‘Return of Rajinism’ to name a few.   The idea here is to try and understand what went through the mind of a typical Rajini fan in those few hours of the movie. 

To be able do that we need to travel back a few decades.  To the days when watching a Rajini movie First day first show (FDFS) was not as glorified as it is now.  It was a given for the fans, if not a FDFS, even a first day watch would do.  Life back then was simple, especially without any social media pressure. Fans would prepare for the movie, wait for it and enjoy it. Most importantly, unlike today’s times, we would watch the movie without any preconceived notions built by social media. It was an event irrespective of the day of release.  Festival or no festival, it was an experience.  It didn’t matter whether the movies were good or bad, hit or flop, class or mass.  Fans those days knew better that it was the producer/ distributor / theatre owner’s headache.  The only thing that mattered for the fans was entertainment and that was ample in a typical Rajini Movie.  The key was to leave your critical review skills and brains behind and watch it with all your heart! And that was Fun! Exciting! Eventful! Happy! Bliss! You name it!

Coming back to  ‘Petta Experience”, I would like to term it time travel… Simply put, most of us are wired in such a way that we always enjoy reminiscing happy events from our past, which in reality, is challenging. What happened or purported to have happened to a fan (what I feel or believe) through Petta is exactly that – Time travel.  As fans, we got a feeling of getting transported back in time; we got something that was missing over the years – an experience that took us back and to the level of ultimate entertainment! 

What is Petta all about? It’s homage to a Hero by a Fan called Karthik Subbaraj. My take is, he was bang on, hit the bull’s-eye!  Human nature is to find happiness and comfort in familiar surroundings. Petta, for fans, did just that! We were carried away to a happy, comfortable and familiar surrounding.  The director didn’t try to force his ideas through Rajini, nor did he try to preach or  try to be “different” by presenting a different kind of Rajini. He didn’t try to prove his mettle through Rajini (as a matter of fact – he need not as he has proven his class in previous movies).  He decided to take the tried and tested path.  The reason I say tried and tested is because, one it isn’t easy to recreate the glorious past of on-screen Rajini and second, over the last couple of decades no one has been able to deliver a ‘Rajini Film’ in the truest sense. The phrase ‘Rajini Film’ its not something that can be explained or demonstrated, but can be understood only by the ardent fans. For that generation, everything around them changed over time, be it surroundings, technology, friends, physical appearance... But the only constant in their lives has been the Rajini Factor! The last time we enjoyed Rajini moments in full swing were in Padayappa and some moments in Sivaji.  After that, it was all about rehash, reinvent, massive idealism, excessive use of technology. My take is, the Boss himself looked confused and fans have been left wanting more.  A Kabali or a Kaala did have a few specks of ‘Rajini moments’ here and there, but they were not complete Rajini movies in the true sense. Endhiran and 2.0 were all about visual appeal, grandeur and technology (both the films did give flashes of his own self only when he turned destructive). Even in Sivaji or Chandramukhi, the fans were upbeat when the Motta boss or Vettaiyan entered the screen. Linga was a complete mess and I rather not comment on the disaster called Kochadaiiyaan. Through Baba, an effort to propagate personal beliefs to a larger audience by the boss himself failed. Simply put, the full meal called Rajini movie was never served in last couple of decades.  And that’s what Karthik Subbaraj delivered in all honesty and earnestness.

To get into the soul of Petta – while the movie has been unarguably acknowledged as a vintage Rajini treat, what was so specifically nostalgic for a Rajini fan?   In my view, the director absolutely nailed it when he blended the cult mass scenes of yesteryear Rajini movies in this one!  Be it scenes in which he mouthed the words ‘Ulle Po’, ‘Varta’, ‘Poda’, ‘Oru Motte, Oru Meesai’ ‘Pambu Pambu’ or ‘Ryta’ or the way the intro was shot (akin to Dalapathi) or the cycle riding scene of ‘Raja Chinna Roja’ or the innocent ‘dharmathin thailaivan /muthu’ kind of romance or ‘the way he delivered ‘biriyani master’ as he mixed up English in ‘guru sishyan’ or the redo of the cult ‘gate opening scene from his debut movie ‘Apoorva Ragangal’ or ‘the basha walk’ or the ‘Raman aandalum Ravana aandalum’ gig from Mullum Malarum. The list is endless, as each fan will find their moment of happiness.   However, my personal favourite is the way he planted the cigarette flick scene in the movie.  It is a given that back in the day, most of us were mesmerized by the way he toyed with cigarettes in his movies (we need not be smokers for that) and the numerous hours fans spent on practicing them. In the current political scenario, there is no way Rajini could smoke on screen especially after the selective backlash he got in Baba.  But the smart cookie that Karthik Subbaraj is, he scripted the scene in such a way that he could make Rajini light a cigarette in his own impeccable style and get away with it with an instant preaching against smoking… Kudos to the creativity and serving the favourite dish by hook or by crook.  While watching the movie, in the scene where Nawazuddin looks at the mobile phone and laughs out loudly, as a fan, I almost expected him to say ‘ ivanukku ennoru per irukku’ (one of the cult Basha moments). I’m not complaining here, but it would have been like a cherry on the cake! Karthik Subbaraj also found a partner in Anirudh, who really tapped the pulse of the audience and aptly delivered. Else, when was the last time we all heard a Rajini song on a loop?  Marana Mass or Ullallaa encompass the elements of peppy and preachy Rajini songs and we haven’t been able to stop humming them. On behalf of all the fans I can chest thump and say that we  walked out happy and chirpy.  

Indeed, Petta was an out and out time-travel for the hard-core fan of 1990s or 1980s Rajini who has missed these revered Rajini moments over the last few years. Kind of Ache Din for the fans.

This Petta moment lights another thought, this time, about Rajini’s contemporaries. The first one that comes to mind is Kamal. While we all relish watching Rajini, we also had the good fortune of watching how the paths crossed for him and Kamal and the undercurrents of competition between them. Like his contemporary, Kamal has also been off track for last few years and he desperately needs a Karthik Subbaraj to recreate the magic on big screen one last time before he hangs his boots. While there is the much-awaited Indian 2, which backs a lot of promise, but we have always admired and liked the Kamal of timeless classic comedies such as Meendum Kokila or Sathi Leelavathi or Thenali. While Kamal and Rajini are in picture, the third name that instantly strikes me is that of the Shahenshah Amitabh Bachchan. Puri Jagannath made an attempt to recreate the magic of Amitabh  in ‘Bbuddah... Hoga Terra Baap’.  While it worked to some extent, it did little to recreate the days of yore for him like Petta did for Rajini.

There we are – celeberating the return of  the real Rajini and not the brand Rajini.  For a 68 year old to pull off something like this is humongous. Hope we get to see some more of this avatar.  As an ordinary Rajini fan, we are not really worked up about his politial plunge and success/ failure thereof.  (Of course, if I had a vote in Tamil Nadu, I would have reached on election day to vote for him).  What we need is entertainment which he has successfully dished out for last 4 decades (sounds selfish) but that’s what it is all about.

Reports says he has a movie with Murugados  or another movie with Karthik Subbaraj.  For a fan, it doesn’t matter with whom, as long as we have another dose of vintage Rajini on screen.  Till then, it’s all Ullaalla Ullaallla.  Ryta…

A Middle Class Indian’s ‘Ache Din’ conundrum

Log on to social media today (intentionally quoted first as it causes the most heartbreak for people nowadays) or switch on television or open print media, and the first thing you see is heated debates on Ache Din.  Whether arrived, if not, when will it arrive, what is the progress towards the target of Ache Dinetc.? Some of them are quite hilarious, especially when you hear it from learned spokesperson of main political parties and some of them silly, and some of them don’t make sense.  

Although I try to keep away from heated debates on television news channels, as much as you try, you get sucked into this at some point.  In a social gathering, general discussions, social media, you may or my not be an active participant or you may be a silent observer, but your thoughts get directed to these debates at some point of time.

Probably that’s what got me thinking and I decided to introspect on the status of the so-called Ache Dinin the life of a middle class or upper middle class) tax-paying citizen, living in a city. For the record, I am not poor, neither a farmer nor an industrialist or a politician and do not have any political affiliation, and records of whatever I do with my life is available with the Government through the massive linking people were forced to do over last few years (reasons still unknown).   Then came the question of how to go about it.  

One-way is to try and understand things, which you never will (at least I won’t) understand as it needs intellect and knowledge in varied fields (I have come across people arguing and defending on these topics without any clue of what it is).  To cite a few, – GDP growth, Moody’s rating, Exchange fluctuations, Global crude price movements, Manufacturing index, FDI numbers, Forex reserve, Ease of doing business index, PSU NPAs, absconding businessmen, widening tax base  etc.  I have seen lot of messages showing comparison on these numbers when UPA was in power and now and for me; it doesn’t make any difference as long as it does not make a positive impact in my life. I know it is a very selfish way of thinking but I chose to be so in this occasion only to make sense of the whole Ache Din situation in my life.

Second option is to look at it politically – which is to analyse various issues hogging limelight like lynching, right wing activism, Kanhaiya, Vemula, Mewani issues, beef ban, flood and flood relief related issues, special category status issues, Article 365 /377 issues, intolerance, Sabarimala issue, Rafael deal, Doklam issues, conversion, movie ban, book ban, plastic ban and what not.  I stop here as this list is never ending and I have figured these are matters that are best left for TV channels and its anchors to dissect (end of the day they have to make a living) and do not affect me, at least in the immediate future and not directly connected to Ache Din.

I concluded to take a different way or the third way of looking at it – that is to look at the situation on the impact of this in my life over the last 4-years. The reason being, it is quite easy to do that and I need not depend on external data, interpretations and tall claims.

To analyse items, not in any specific order, I broadly classify them as under:

Things that matter (its not just roti, kapada our makan)

• Groceries, Vegetables, Petrol, Diesel, LPG (subsidy systematically taken out for many) have all shot up. Utility bills across the board, whether it is electricity (with regular cuts) and water bills (irregular supply) have shot up.  It goes up every year for no particular reason.
• Occasional expenses - personal air travel / train travel (incidentally they also have surge pricing in some trains to make things worse) are on higher side. 
• Eating out occasionally – became prohibitively expensive.
• Health related – Insurance premium have shot up and we all know how private hospitals loot us and there is no solution to it.  Yes – there is a grand healthcare proposal in the anvil and we have to wait and see how it plays out.
• Education – obnoxious level of school / college fees continues with hockey stick increase every year.

General living condition

• In the city I live, I absolutely can’t find any improvement in cleanliness.  Swach remains on billboards and in advertisements. I used to pay some cess or tax for this, which I believe, is now merged with GST. 
• Infrastructure remains pathetic.  They charge heavy road tax for vehicles and most times we have to search for roads without potholes.  Whenever you find a decent road, toll is collected religiously.  Toll charges also go up in frequent intervals with absolutely no improvement in road condition.  We are a surprised lot if there is no traffic jam.
• Pollution levels continue to be the same or have increased.
• My experience says Corruption is still a problem – not eradicated as it was sought to through demonetisation. I am not referring to the hi-tech corruption of politicians though it is widely reported that Elections are still won due to money power. 
• Safety in public places continues to be a conern
• Politicians continue to play the politics of ban and bandh for reasons best known to them.

Economics (as understood by a common man)

• 15% service tax earlier and now I pay 18% GST 
• Income tax rates have not come down.   Easy tax paying targets are milked regularly while massive loan waivers by all state governments for political reasons. There were also rumours of reduction of income tax levels once they recover all the black money through the great economic adventure called demonetisation – and we still await for that reduction
• Returns from any kind of investment is in all time low (except stock market which is zooming upwards)

The above list is short as the intention is to address major items. The only thing, which is costing less, now is the data rolled out by telecom companies (maybe Jio was not in vogue few years back).

Apart from the above, there is a new front; I would prefer to call it as  ‘harassment front’.  Most Indians were busy linking something or the other with something to prove their bonafide and existence - presumably to identify and grab black money.  Some people even thought it would help bring back the black money from Switzerland.  For most of us, we have absolutely no subsidy or benefit coming from the Government other than the honourable privilege of paying tax whenever asked for. So, we don’t know what is the intent of this linking which was aimed at preventing leakages. But we still do it hoping for good times or Ache Din.  At some point, the Hon’ble Supreme Court stepped in and said  ‘Wait’ this doesn’t make sense per-se.  hold on till we give our blessings’. For now, people are spared of this circus. Needless to say, we will do this like robots once the highest court gives their nod. 

I know I have tried to take the easy way out to look into this great nation’s problem. But you should ask yourself –does it not make sense to have individual comfort and happiness first as long it doesn’t affect any other person.  I am aware of the claims or defense like ‘structural changes being made’, ‘it’s a long haul’, ‘Country was in a mess till 2014’,‘development is a work in progress’, ‘widening tax base (how does it matter to me when I pay more tax and get less returns), numerous yojanas blah blah blah. While I am all for these lines of thought, on ground, nothing has changed for a middle class Indian. On a personal level, I pay more tax and I also spend more for the same services / goods which I used few years ago. While I understand that expenses can’t come down or it can’t be stable, the rise is abnormal with no value added returns. 

To put things in perspective, it is not pointing a finger at the current government and they come into picture only because of the claim of Ache Dinor the impending Ache Din claim.  This was the case in the past also. Historically this is the situation  middle class is  facing and it will continue to be so.  Middle class has to be law-abiding, tax paying to subsidise all other nonsense, which goes around. 

So, I rest my case with the conclusion that for me ‘ Ache Din’or impending ‘Ache Din’is not visible. I firmly believe this is how one should analyse and pass judgment rather than following talk shows in hyper TV noise channels, relying on WhatsApp forwards or talking about things, which we don’t understand.  

Having said that, we (I take the liberty to write on behalf of middle class) may still vote for Mr. Modi for another term (not sure whether it matters in the overall scheme of things) as the alternate looming around has disaster written all over it.  Hopefully, there will be something positive for us in in the near future though we don’t fit into the vote-bank category, which can make a difference. We don’t want to be king of good times, but a passing good time  (Ache din) will do some good to us.

Of course, Ache din is different for different set of people and everyone should make their own conclusion. So, go for it…. But this is how I would do it!

AAP – No more the messiah of the ‘Mango People!

Year 2015 - assuming AAP comes to Power in India

Army Chief’s SOS to Prime Minister AKji - Sir, we have information from the Intelligence Bureau that our neighbouring country is planning an attack in the next 24 hours.

AKji - Oh no.  Tell them to hold on.  We need to conduct a referendum through our website / Facebook /Twitter/ WhatsApp / other social media and ascertain public opinion on this. We will need 3 days and tell them to wait.

Army Chief (replies in astonishment) - Err… Sir,  that may not work. It is a war situation!!

AKji - Oh!  What do we do now?  How is the situation with our nuclear arsenal if the public feedback approves of such usage?  Can we keep it ready?

Army Chief - Of course sir. But we don’t have power supply to use the nuclear weapon as the suppliers are going through a CAG audit and they have also refused to supply power till we pay them.  Besides, the head of the unit is on suspension pending an enquiry being conducted under by the Jan Lokpal. We have been given to understand that this position is vacant since an honest, qualified person has not been found so far.

AKji – Yes, yes! I remember!  He was the one who shares his surname with that big industrialist and we strongly believe that the industrialist controls him.   What do we do now?  Can we speak to the Pak Army or ISI to delay this?

Army Chief (exasperated) - That won’t be possible Sir. They do not report to you.

An irritated AKji – How is that possible and why was I never told about this? What did the Congress and BJP Governments do about this over the last 60 years? I’ll do a Dharna in front of the Pakistan High Commission to protest against this and give the Pakistan Government 48 hours to pass a resolution ensuring their Army/ISI report to me with immediate effect.  I will resign if it does not happen. Also, send 15 questions to Pak Army Chief, seeking answers in 24 hours.  Else, it will be clear that he is corrupt.

Army Chief (aghast) - Yes sir! But how will sending questions, sitting on a Dharna and proving that the Pakistan Army is corrupt help us in the situation we are in, an impending War!!

AKji - Arre… don’t you get the point?  Once they pass the required resolution, I can order them not to attack. If they don’t pass, I’ll resign. If the Pakistan Army Chief does not reply, it is clear that he is corrupt.  Let us get an auto rickshaw to go to the nearest Metro station and from there to the Dharna venue.  (AKji calls his press secretary and says) - ensure that the entire media is alerted about my rickshaw travel and metro travel. Where is my muffler!

Army Chief fainted…………...

What has happened to India? Nothing yet, considering this is only a highly exaggerated imaginary situation!

This piece (of my mind) is in no way an attempt to point fingers at AAP and its credibility or the intelligence of its leader.  If I had a vote in the Delhi assembly elections, I would have definitely voted for the AAP as their intention was quite promising. However, as an AAM AADMI, I feel dejected looking at their naïve and immature way of handling of things.

Running after Referendums:

Looks like the party has collectively failed to realize that people vote and elect representatives because they don’t have the intelligence or time to govern. A leader is expected to be decisive and lead but if the leader keeps going back to the public in the name of referendum (through their websites and social networking sites which form a small percentage of public), it leads to nothing but chaos and delays, Imagine this: if this trend continues, the day isn’t far when each home could have a voting machine installed for the mango people to have their say on policies and issues!

Focus on 'what's not possible' rather than 'what's possible' 

Can choosing a lost cause and quitting be termed a success? I am not a political analyst, but it is elementary that with the numbers AAP had in the Delhi Assembly, passing the Jan Lokpal Bill was a non-starter from the beginning.  The chances were as bright as an Indian football team winning a FIFA World Cup! AAP garnered public support by convincing the Aam Aadmi of how corrupt the Congress, BJP or for that matter every other political party was (incidentally, both the Congress and BJP never denied they have corrupt leaders; but their defense was that the other one is more corrupt). During their short stint at power, the party sounded redundant as they kept on singing the same tune without doing anything about it.

Instead, they should have grabbed the opportunity and proved a point to the world of what they were capable of by completing the term or rule Delhi for couple of years.  Efficiency is as important as honesty! There was plenty of opportunity to clean up a whole lot of things (streamlining power distribution, water supply, school admissions, development work etc., to name a few). Jan Lokpal, though important, is not the only issue. Jan Lokpal is necessary and they could have sent it to the Central Government and blamed the Congress. I am sure the AAM AADMI is smart enough to understand that a one- year-old party can do only so much. On the flip side, the feeling one got during the short AAP tenure was they somehow wanted the Congress to withdraw the support.

Of Press Meets, Dharnas and Accusations…

After a point, TV Noise, I mean News Channels were nothing but AAP TV! All they did was call for press meets and accuse someone or the other of corruption.  The debate here is not whether the people accused by AAP are corrupt or not? The point is what purpose did it serve? Most of AAP’s tactics of free power and waivers are nothing beyond populous politics – something similar to what a state like Tamil Nadu followed – dolling out freebies without worrying about the long term impact to the exchequer.  Yes, they managed to hold Delhi to ransom by holding a dharna, resulting in sending few Delhi policemen on leave.  No one knows what happened to these policemen who went on leave. Did the people of Delhi benefit from this? The answer is a vehement NO!  Strangely, when they consulted the people on forming the government, they did not do so while quitting!

They should also realize that the MY WAY or the HIGHWAY Approach does not work in a democracy.

Just like that light at the end of the tunnel, I hope the AAP gets a little practical and sensible. They have definitely lost their head start that is wading but still promising, at least in the cities.  To add to that, if they fail to win a few seats, they will face a humungous task of keeping their high profile members together as most of them are corporate leaders in their own right and for them, dovetailing will be difficult.

On a concluding note, what comes to my mind is Abraham Lincoln’s quote “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power”. Does it not reflect the current picture of AAP and a faltered one at that!