My journey from ‘Thanmathra’ to ‘The Father’ - the story of 'vacant eyes'

This is not a review for any movie but an attempt to trace mine and my family’s journey as care givers, which started with curiosity and fear, but ended in complete disbelief. 

In the year 2005, I happened to watch the Mohanlal masterpiece called ‘Thanmathra’ which introduced me to the world of ‘Dementia’ or ‘Alzheimer’s’.  While we did feel sad about what we saw on screen, as a plain movie buff, we focused on the making, story, performance,  creativity and other elements that maketh a movie a masterpiece! I ended up lauding the movie and watched it few more times.

Fast forward to 2022, when I watched ‘The Father',  an English movie which won Anthony Hopkins an Academy Award, my outlook had changed. To quote from one of the reviews of the movie, ‘The Father takes a bracingly insightful, subtle and nuanced look at encroaching dementia and the toll it takes on those in close proximity to the afflicted’.  

While the movies are not comparable but for the subject and to set the context,  both Thanmathra and The Father dealt with this demon of Dementia. While we enjoyed Thanmathra from a creative point of view and felt sad at what we saw on screen, we could not directly connect with the theme, but by the time I watched ‘The Father’, we were living the movie.  It was pure nostalgia filled with sadness, empathy, helplessness, guilt, frustration, anger and all kinds of negative emotions in the world. It was a living experience and a chronicle of what we went through – me personally, and as a family, when my mother was diagnosed with Dementia and our journey through it.

I am sure there is plenty of literature, stories, characters, reference points to explain what this phenomenon called ‘dementia’ is.  But I somehow felt that I should put down a first-hand account of the journey.   I remember the exact words of the Doctor when he confirmed that my mother has developed symptoms of dementia; his statement still echoes and he said ‘for this disease, the treatment is for the care-giver and not the patient’ as apparently there is no medical cure for this.  Typically, medicines are given to slow down the process which may or may not work.  Looking back, blame it on my arrogance or over confidence, I shrugged off his statement. Eventually, I was proved wrong several times through the journey, situations did break me down and the Doctor’s words turned gospel.  What the whole journey does is to test your ability, belief, confidence, relationships, decision making (while you are still in the know that you can’t make any decisions), social skills, professional front and what not! 

Bit of a flashback…

Ammai - A woman born in a not so well to do family (using this safe word rather than saying ‘poor’ as I would guess that was normal those days), lived her childhood consuming mostly the food freely distributed from the Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Trivandrum, primary school education, helping the family make pappadams and sell it for a living and then marrying my dad probably because he agreed to marry her without any demands.

The one word I would use liberally for describing her is ‘brave’.  She brought us all up (six of us) alone while my dad was away all the time during the better part of our childhood.  He initially served in the Indian Navy and then spent his time in the Middle East in the Merchant Navy to make a living. We are talking about 30 plus years of struggle, brining up the six of us (As I write this, I am still at loss and confused dealing with my one kid).   Of course, people in the family did help her, especially my Chittappa

(Appa's  younger brother), who played an advisory role in our education and general disciplining.  But the hard work of managing the flock was hers.   We all were provided good education and all of us are doing fairly well for ourselves now.   She ensured that we all went to the best schools available at the time and were given enough freedom to do what we all wanted.  While she was a tyrant when it came to school affairs, we were all given the option to pursue sports / music and freedom to do whatever we wanted apart from education. Personally, I was given an exposure to Kalari (the oldest martial art in the world), learning mridangam (though a given in a Tam-brahm family) , part of the air wing in school (this takes lot of time away from studies) and was allowed to attend wha RSS shakhas those days (where was exposed to yoga as well – a buzzword now). Alas,  I didn’t pursue any of these in the long term. This might sound trivial, but the fact that someone naturally did all these (being now preached and promoted by all modern-day education counsellors as some kind of ‘out of the box’ thinking) decades ago, in itself is commendable. 

Those were growing up years, but the struggle didn’t end there.  While she outlived my dad who passed away in early 90s, she had to endure the loss of her favourite son in his early 30s to an accident, with whom she was living all along. Looking back, this probably happened when she was in her comfort zone or to say in a colloquial way – ‘life was set’ types.   Living in Kerala, familiar terrain, with her son and daughter-in-law in a ‘nothing can go wrong’ situation, that I presume would have been the ultimate jolt.

The journey continued.. she spent her rest of her life with all the children, living in Delhi, Chennai and Bangalore and finally settling to live with me in Bangalore (while visiting other children and grandkids visiting us regularly). She managed to make every place her own by making her own network of friends and acquaintances. Even at the age of 75, she could move around on her own in long distance trains without any apprehension or fear.

The demon called ‘dementia’ creeps in…

Needles to state - this is the hardest part of the whole journey.   The puzzle of ‘when, how and why’.  As a care-giver, trust me, your whole life is spent on figuring out these three things and even now we contemplate whether we could have done something different.  Of course, there is no answer to this but just imaginations, presumptions and assumptions, mostly to satisfy ourselves.

Looking back, in my college days, one of my friend’s paati (grandmother) had this.  I used to spend lot of time in his house and his paati (who was then in 80s) hallucinated a lot.  One of the episodes I vividly remember is she would suddenly come and say there is fire in the room and would ask us to douse the fire.  Those days, we used to laugh It off and branded her as ‘vattu’ in Malayalam (or something wrong mentally).  We never figured this is a health condition which needs attention or compassion. The image of the old lady was a constant thing which haunted me through this journey and Ammai  used to behave the same way at later stages.

In our case, it probably started off as some kind of confusion.  We live in a gated community and she was regular with her evening walks. One of those days, a friend of mine called me and told me that my mom is asking for directions to our house from a security.  Very innocuous as we all at some point in life tend to forget a few things.  It can be a name, place or incident.   But that probably is the first time I thought there could be  a problem. We observed her for few days and it emerged clearly that something was amiss.  Few episodes which still strike me are – she would keep asking for food (forgetting she already had), confusion with place of stay (she spent a lot of time in Chennai with my sister and when in Bangalore, she would say she is in Chennai and vice versa), confusion with time (getting up after the afternoon nap and asking for breakfast) etc. 

We approached a Neurologist and our worst fears were confirmed.  There was a neuropsychology analysis conducted where they check the stage of deterioration.  Those days she was an avid Malayalam newspaper reader and would get restless if she didn’t get her newspaper in the morning on time.  Probably as most old people do, she would directly go for the ‘obituary’ section to check for any known names.  But what hit me during the test was she could not figure out the current year and to a question who was the prime minister, she answered Indira Gandhi.   Our journey with the demon officially started that moment, sometime in 2017. 

Probably the worst development from her own perspective was when she realised something is wrong with her and started getting worked up over that. 

Reasons (pure pondering without logic)..

This is something which is pure guess work or there is no medical way to find out the right reason for this demon.   In the process of pondering what we could have done differently, two things do come to my  mind.  

Moving from a comfortable location to a new location. Sometime in 2016 we moved to a gated community from a small apartment complex.  In the old complex, her routine was set – lots of friends to sit with in the evenings in a nearby park and an Ayyappa temple nearby.  She used to look forward to her evening sojourn (akin to small kids waiting for the evening to go and play with their friends) and the whole thing got disturbed when we moved to this gated community.  While the safety part was taken care of, the networking bit was lost.   Given her nature, she did make lot of friends in the new place also but somewhere lost her zeal in the process.

Few physical ailments resulting in her inability to do household chores.  For people in that generation, from the time they could do something independently (from a very young age) this household chore became the only constant thing.  Like people of that generation, she was passionate and took great pleasure to do all these. She was legendary for her hospitality and this stopped due to a couple of falls she had and maybe the idleness or dependence could have caused some issues. We also, for safety purposes, curtailed her kitchen expedition as she used to forget to switch off gas or hurt herself if something went wrong in the kitchen. 

While the above can be far away from truth or cause, to repeat, trust me this is the first thing a care giver will engage in when this demon hits someone close.   They will keep thinking about what could have caused this and needless to say, there is no answer to this question.  All the science in the world is yet to come up with a solution to this conondrum.   Some say being inactive or loneliness can cause but I have seen this affecting very active persons also. One of the doctors I met initially told me to increase coconut oil intake and use turmeric as it can increase memory.  Ironically, hailing from Kerala, I have not seen any other oil being used at our house for cooking and turmeric can be found in each dish in large quantities.  While scientifically the suggestion could be true, in our case, that was definitely not the cause.  

Physically she was in good condition till last few days, she had mild BP and no diabetes, which is commendable given the lifestyle diseases prevalent nowadays, even in youngsters.  So, we are still clueless and keep thinking about it. 

Her mental condition continued to deteriorate; it became difficult for her to identify even close relatives.  Many weird things would happen.  To cite a few;

·    She would get up in the middle of the night and say ‘station has come and we have to get down’ thinking she is in a train,   

·    She used to go to the nearly pharmacy and gobble up pain killers thinking she has some headache and it will get cured, 

·    While we have all kind of fruits and snacks at home, she would go to the supermarket and buy one banana or few biscuits and eat (probably to satisfy herself that she is still in control of things), 

·    She wanted to know whom she married and where he was -to the extent that she used to wait for him at the door. Once I showed her marriage picture and she flatly refused to acknowledge that it was her.

·   She used to keep mentioning that her kids are young and gone to school and she has to keep snacks ready when they come back. 

·    She once mentioned that I am not living with the woman I married and was living with someone else.  

·    She constantly wanted to go back to Kerala to live with his son who passed away in late 90s.

·    She used to keep her sarees in a bag saying that she is a guest and has to return to Kerala soon (till we started hiding all the bags)

·   Her only prayer to her favourite Padmanabhaswamy was to take her life soon.  Alas, gods probably had other plans.

The list is too long and many instances are very hard to even recollect, but just the thought of narrating to demonstrate how bad things can go.

The last days…

The end (physical end as I would like to call it) did finally happen in February 2023.  To our respite, we had engaged a full time, live-in care taker to spend time with her and we remain grateful for the commendable job she did in looking after Ammai during her last days.  She took care of her impeccably and brought some discipline in her life to the extent that they used to go for evening walks till the end (but for the last 2 weeks).  She also efficiently managed when they both got COVID. In Ammai’s case, COVID was mild and didn’t impact her as much which probably demonstrates the physical resilience or strength she had.

Her health did deteriorate in the last 2 weeks and we were interacting with doctors and doing some tests etc.  But finally, she had a cardiac arrest and passed away at home in her own bed. It’s the first anniversary month now and this attempt is to summarise our tryst with Dementia

In one of the interviews, renowned actor Anupam Kher had mentioned that his worst fear is to ‘lose memory’. Losing your own memory and not knowing who they are.  He also used a term to explain the condition of a dementia affected person, that is they have ‘vacant eyes’.  There is no better way to word the situation and I totally resonate with this.  

Unfortunately, statistics are stacked against humanity in this respect.  As per the World Health Organisation, there are over 10 million new cases of dementia each year worldwide, implying one new case every 3.2 seconds. There are over 55 million people worldwide living with dementia in 2020. This number will almost double every 20 years, reaching 78 million in 2030 and 139 million in 2050.)  https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/dementia)

While the situation is bleak globally, the culture of family bonding in India makes it more difficult for us to handle.  Typically, in the western world, while it’s not a criticism, they start living separately and have their own life and space since a very young age.  In India, parents live with us and it is very difficult for us to consume what happens to them in front of our eyes.  

We are looking at a colossal crisis (underway) if no cure is found.  Without trying to sound preachy as I am no medical expert, first signs are critical and cannot be taken lightly as I understand in initial stages some counselling, memory exercises etc. can delay the deterioration. So, watch for it. 

Though I have come across this many times, even in very close families, what you experience first hand cannot be explained. The reason for choosing a filmy title and connection is also to establish a differentiated mindset,  the mind set when you watched ‘Thanmathra’ years ago (incidentally I watched this with Ammai and she loved the movie) and the mind set when you watched ‘The Father’.  

I am sure as care-givers we struggled, cried, cribbed, felt helpless, cursed, shouted, fought, argued, got upset and what not... but just the thought of what they go through is inconceivable.  

I will conclude with something I read online,“Remember, the dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time and we being there is incidental”.

Petta – Extraordinary Time Travel for an Ordinary Fan

This attempt is not a review, nor a recommendation, neither a fan’s chest thumping, but a humble attempt to deconstruct the mind of an ordinary Rajini fan. A lot has been written about Petta since its release, especially described with terms such as Rajinified’, ‘Pettafied’, ‘Vintage Rajini’, ‘Thalaivar is back’, ‘Return of Rajinism’ to name a few.   The idea here is to try and understand what went through the mind of a typical Rajini fan in those few hours of the movie. 

To be able do that we need to travel back a few decades.  To the days when watching a Rajini movie First day first show (FDFS) was not as glorified as it is now.  It was a given for the fans, if not a FDFS, even a first day watch would do.  Life back then was simple, especially without any social media pressure. Fans would prepare for the movie, wait for it and enjoy it. Most importantly, unlike today’s times, we would watch the movie without any preconceived notions built by social media. It was an event irrespective of the day of release.  Festival or no festival, it was an experience.  It didn’t matter whether the movies were good or bad, hit or flop, class or mass.  Fans those days knew better that it was the producer/ distributor / theatre owner’s headache.  The only thing that mattered for the fans was entertainment and that was ample in a typical Rajini Movie.  The key was to leave your critical review skills and brains behind and watch it with all your heart! And that was Fun! Exciting! Eventful! Happy! Bliss! You name it!

Coming back to  ‘Petta Experience”, I would like to term it time travel… Simply put, most of us are wired in such a way that we always enjoy reminiscing happy events from our past, which in reality, is challenging. What happened or purported to have happened to a fan (what I feel or believe) through Petta is exactly that – Time travel.  As fans, we got a feeling of getting transported back in time; we got something that was missing over the years – an experience that took us back and to the level of ultimate entertainment! 

What is Petta all about? It’s homage to a Hero by a Fan called Karthik Subbaraj. My take is, he was bang on, hit the bull’s-eye!  Human nature is to find happiness and comfort in familiar surroundings. Petta, for fans, did just that! We were carried away to a happy, comfortable and familiar surrounding.  The director didn’t try to force his ideas through Rajini, nor did he try to preach or  try to be “different” by presenting a different kind of Rajini. He didn’t try to prove his mettle through Rajini (as a matter of fact – he need not as he has proven his class in previous movies).  He decided to take the tried and tested path.  The reason I say tried and tested is because, one it isn’t easy to recreate the glorious past of on-screen Rajini and second, over the last couple of decades no one has been able to deliver a ‘Rajini Film’ in the truest sense. The phrase ‘Rajini Film’ its not something that can be explained or demonstrated, but can be understood only by the ardent fans. For that generation, everything around them changed over time, be it surroundings, technology, friends, physical appearance... But the only constant in their lives has been the Rajini Factor! The last time we enjoyed Rajini moments in full swing were in Padayappa and some moments in Sivaji.  After that, it was all about rehash, reinvent, massive idealism, excessive use of technology. My take is, the Boss himself looked confused and fans have been left wanting more.  A Kabali or a Kaala did have a few specks of ‘Rajini moments’ here and there, but they were not complete Rajini movies in the true sense. Endhiran and 2.0 were all about visual appeal, grandeur and technology (both the films did give flashes of his own self only when he turned destructive). Even in Sivaji or Chandramukhi, the fans were upbeat when the Motta boss or Vettaiyan entered the screen. Linga was a complete mess and I rather not comment on the disaster called Kochadaiiyaan. Through Baba, an effort to propagate personal beliefs to a larger audience by the boss himself failed. Simply put, the full meal called Rajini movie was never served in last couple of decades.  And that’s what Karthik Subbaraj delivered in all honesty and earnestness.

To get into the soul of Petta – while the movie has been unarguably acknowledged as a vintage Rajini treat, what was so specifically nostalgic for a Rajini fan?   In my view, the director absolutely nailed it when he blended the cult mass scenes of yesteryear Rajini movies in this one!  Be it scenes in which he mouthed the words ‘Ulle Po’, ‘Varta’, ‘Poda’, ‘Oru Motte, Oru Meesai’ ‘Pambu Pambu’ or ‘Ryta’ or the way the intro was shot (akin to Dalapathi) or the cycle riding scene of ‘Raja Chinna Roja’ or the innocent ‘dharmathin thailaivan /muthu’ kind of romance or ‘the way he delivered ‘biriyani master’ as he mixed up English in ‘guru sishyan’ or the redo of the cult ‘gate opening scene from his debut movie ‘Apoorva Ragangal’ or ‘the basha walk’ or the ‘Raman aandalum Ravana aandalum’ gig from Mullum Malarum. The list is endless, as each fan will find their moment of happiness.   However, my personal favourite is the way he planted the cigarette flick scene in the movie.  It is a given that back in the day, most of us were mesmerized by the way he toyed with cigarettes in his movies (we need not be smokers for that) and the numerous hours fans spent on practicing them. In the current political scenario, there is no way Rajini could smoke on screen especially after the selective backlash he got in Baba.  But the smart cookie that Karthik Subbaraj is, he scripted the scene in such a way that he could make Rajini light a cigarette in his own impeccable style and get away with it with an instant preaching against smoking… Kudos to the creativity and serving the favourite dish by hook or by crook.  While watching the movie, in the scene where Nawazuddin looks at the mobile phone and laughs out loudly, as a fan, I almost expected him to say ‘ ivanukku ennoru per irukku’ (one of the cult Basha moments). I’m not complaining here, but it would have been like a cherry on the cake! Karthik Subbaraj also found a partner in Anirudh, who really tapped the pulse of the audience and aptly delivered. Else, when was the last time we all heard a Rajini song on a loop?  Marana Mass or Ullallaa encompass the elements of peppy and preachy Rajini songs and we haven’t been able to stop humming them. On behalf of all the fans I can chest thump and say that we  walked out happy and chirpy.  

Indeed, Petta was an out and out time-travel for the hard-core fan of 1990s or 1980s Rajini who has missed these revered Rajini moments over the last few years. Kind of Ache Din for the fans.

This Petta moment lights another thought, this time, about Rajini’s contemporaries. The first one that comes to mind is Kamal. While we all relish watching Rajini, we also had the good fortune of watching how the paths crossed for him and Kamal and the undercurrents of competition between them. Like his contemporary, Kamal has also been off track for last few years and he desperately needs a Karthik Subbaraj to recreate the magic on big screen one last time before he hangs his boots. While there is the much-awaited Indian 2, which backs a lot of promise, but we have always admired and liked the Kamal of timeless classic comedies such as Meendum Kokila or Sathi Leelavathi or Thenali. While Kamal and Rajini are in picture, the third name that instantly strikes me is that of the Shahenshah Amitabh Bachchan. Puri Jagannath made an attempt to recreate the magic of Amitabh  in ‘Bbuddah... Hoga Terra Baap’.  While it worked to some extent, it did little to recreate the days of yore for him like Petta did for Rajini.

There we are – celeberating the return of  the real Rajini and not the brand Rajini.  For a 68 year old to pull off something like this is humongous. Hope we get to see some more of this avatar.  As an ordinary Rajini fan, we are not really worked up about his politial plunge and success/ failure thereof.  (Of course, if I had a vote in Tamil Nadu, I would have reached on election day to vote for him).  What we need is entertainment which he has successfully dished out for last 4 decades (sounds selfish) but that’s what it is all about.

Reports says he has a movie with Murugados  or another movie with Karthik Subbaraj.  For a fan, it doesn’t matter with whom, as long as we have another dose of vintage Rajini on screen.  Till then, it’s all Ullaalla Ullaallla.  Ryta…

Case for keeping ‘Smartphone’ in Saraswathi Puja!

Growing up in a Tambrahm family in Kerala, an annual excitement for all of us was the last two days of Navaratri, commonly referred to as Saraswathi Puja.  On the ninth day of Navaratri,  books and all musical instruments are ceremoniously kept in front of the Goddess Saraswathi early at dawn (Pujaveppu) and worshipped with special prayers. No studies or any performance of arts is carried out, as it is considered that the Goddess herself is blessing the books and the instruments. The festival concludes on the tenth day of Navaratri or Vijayadashimi, and the Goddess is worshipped again before the books and the musical instruments are removed (Pujayeduppu). It is kind of statutory freedom to be lazy through the day and do nothing other than while away time.  While it’s still not clear as to why we used to be overjoyed as even on other days we hardly studied other than during exam time (applies to me and most of my friends from childhood), looking back, it was just the thought of not feeling guilty that we celebrated.  We refrained from reading newspapers and for some reason when we saw movies also; we refrained from reading the end credits or titles as we will be reading something, and by doing that, indirectly offending the goddess!  

The practice, which is also known as Ayudha Puja, is followed in other parts of the country in various forms. Even though the advent of technology was not contemplated during those times (incidentally a leading politician recently claimed that Internet existed during the Mahabharata era, claim yet to be verified and confirmed), people nowadays have added Laptops and Calculators, to name a few, to the list of items, which are kept in Puja.  

Cut to current times, what is the key weapon or information provider or tool we have. The immediate answer should be a ‘smartphone’, which has more or less become one of the extended organs of the current generation.  I use the term organ to denote the importance people give to the tool.  People may delay seeing a doctor for a toothache with hope of the pain waning off but the moment your phone slows down or behaves erratic, you rush to see a mechanic or even replace the phone (this experience is not borrowed).

Arguably, with the inflection of social media by way of Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, WhatsApp and the works, our information source or learning source in the real world now is the smartphone.  Most of our time is spent looking at that piece with whole abandon to the real world. Most professions use this, Students use this to learn/study, teachers use it to teach  (the trend in music and arts is to learn and teach through Skype).

Even if we are not learning or using it for any productive purpose, as per recent studies, the key for this smartphone abuse lies in a fashionable term known as as FOMO, which is fear of missing out. As per Wikipedia - FOMO, is "a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent"^. This social anxiety is characterized by "a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing"^. FOMO is also defined as a fear of regret that may lead to a compulsive concern of missing an opportunity for social interaction, a novel experience, a profitable investment, or other satisfying event. In other words, FOMO perpetuates the fear of having made the wrong decision on how to spend time since "you can imagine how things could be different". 

While I don’t want to dwell into the merits and demerits of FOMO, which is slowly becoming or has already become a psychiatric condition, while leaving the specifics to experts, from whatever I have read or come across, it is succinct to say that this is an undesirable trend.  I bring in the topic of FOMO here as most recommendations for people who are impacted by the FOMO syndrome include taking breaks from social media and focusing more on the environment and people around them in the present moment and this piece is directed to touch upon that aspect.

Coming back to our topic of Saraswathi Puja, while pondering over the practice,  it made me wonder why people still practice the ritual of keeping books, musical instruments etc. in Puja while leaving the obvious learning tool out.  For me, the Saraswathi Puja ritual will be incomplete without the smartphone being made part of the Puja. I am sure; it is quite difficult (even I am not sure whether I will be able to achieve this), but does this not make sense?  Most of your learning, work is credited to this tool and keeping them off Puja is not the right thing to do. 

Will it not give you an opportunity for one round of digital detox and be human without external pressures? Am sure we can’t avoid the #metoo’sand #rafaele’sand #savesabarimala’sof the world, but you will definitely be better off by not reading and reacting to them on an individual level.  As they say, when it comes to social media, I completely agree with the saying ‘Ignorance is bliss’. If we don’t react and respond, that too will pass.

That’s some thought for the true believers to ponder and consider. While I can’t or don’t want to start a #dussherafordigitaldetox movement, I will give a crack at this next year (if not this year).  At least, I will try to switch off the data in the phone as voice, I presume is still ok with the goddess as during Sarawathi Puja, only thing we used to do is talk, talk and talk. 

While we nowadays accept request, browse, connect, chat, check-in, checkout, comment, follow, forward, hangout, like, login, pin, ping, post, refresh, reply, request, respond, revert, send, share, stalk, surf, tag, troll, tweet, retweet, unfriend, update, upload etc. what we don’t’ do or lack is the joy of talking.   Lets do that once in a year at least on the pretext of Saraswathi Puja! 

A Middle Class Indian’s ‘Ache Din’ conundrum

Log on to social media today (intentionally quoted first as it causes the most heartbreak for people nowadays) or switch on television or open print media, and the first thing you see is heated debates on Ache Din.  Whether arrived, if not, when will it arrive, what is the progress towards the target of Ache Dinetc.? Some of them are quite hilarious, especially when you hear it from learned spokesperson of main political parties and some of them silly, and some of them don’t make sense.  

Although I try to keep away from heated debates on television news channels, as much as you try, you get sucked into this at some point.  In a social gathering, general discussions, social media, you may or my not be an active participant or you may be a silent observer, but your thoughts get directed to these debates at some point of time.

Probably that’s what got me thinking and I decided to introspect on the status of the so-called Ache Dinin the life of a middle class or upper middle class) tax-paying citizen, living in a city. For the record, I am not poor, neither a farmer nor an industrialist or a politician and do not have any political affiliation, and records of whatever I do with my life is available with the Government through the massive linking people were forced to do over last few years (reasons still unknown).   Then came the question of how to go about it.  

One-way is to try and understand things, which you never will (at least I won’t) understand as it needs intellect and knowledge in varied fields (I have come across people arguing and defending on these topics without any clue of what it is).  To cite a few, – GDP growth, Moody’s rating, Exchange fluctuations, Global crude price movements, Manufacturing index, FDI numbers, Forex reserve, Ease of doing business index, PSU NPAs, absconding businessmen, widening tax base  etc.  I have seen lot of messages showing comparison on these numbers when UPA was in power and now and for me; it doesn’t make any difference as long as it does not make a positive impact in my life. I know it is a very selfish way of thinking but I chose to be so in this occasion only to make sense of the whole Ache Din situation in my life.

Second option is to look at it politically – which is to analyse various issues hogging limelight like lynching, right wing activism, Kanhaiya, Vemula, Mewani issues, beef ban, flood and flood relief related issues, special category status issues, Article 365 /377 issues, intolerance, Sabarimala issue, Rafael deal, Doklam issues, conversion, movie ban, book ban, plastic ban and what not.  I stop here as this list is never ending and I have figured these are matters that are best left for TV channels and its anchors to dissect (end of the day they have to make a living) and do not affect me, at least in the immediate future and not directly connected to Ache Din.

I concluded to take a different way or the third way of looking at it – that is to look at the situation on the impact of this in my life over the last 4-years. The reason being, it is quite easy to do that and I need not depend on external data, interpretations and tall claims.

To analyse items, not in any specific order, I broadly classify them as under:

Things that matter (its not just roti, kapada our makan)

• Groceries, Vegetables, Petrol, Diesel, LPG (subsidy systematically taken out for many) have all shot up. Utility bills across the board, whether it is electricity (with regular cuts) and water bills (irregular supply) have shot up.  It goes up every year for no particular reason.
• Occasional expenses - personal air travel / train travel (incidentally they also have surge pricing in some trains to make things worse) are on higher side. 
• Eating out occasionally – became prohibitively expensive.
• Health related – Insurance premium have shot up and we all know how private hospitals loot us and there is no solution to it.  Yes – there is a grand healthcare proposal in the anvil and we have to wait and see how it plays out.
• Education – obnoxious level of school / college fees continues with hockey stick increase every year.

General living condition

• In the city I live, I absolutely can’t find any improvement in cleanliness.  Swach remains on billboards and in advertisements. I used to pay some cess or tax for this, which I believe, is now merged with GST. 
• Infrastructure remains pathetic.  They charge heavy road tax for vehicles and most times we have to search for roads without potholes.  Whenever you find a decent road, toll is collected religiously.  Toll charges also go up in frequent intervals with absolutely no improvement in road condition.  We are a surprised lot if there is no traffic jam.
• Pollution levels continue to be the same or have increased.
• My experience says Corruption is still a problem – not eradicated as it was sought to through demonetisation. I am not referring to the hi-tech corruption of politicians though it is widely reported that Elections are still won due to money power. 
• Safety in public places continues to be a conern
• Politicians continue to play the politics of ban and bandh for reasons best known to them.

Economics (as understood by a common man)

• 15% service tax earlier and now I pay 18% GST 
• Income tax rates have not come down.   Easy tax paying targets are milked regularly while massive loan waivers by all state governments for political reasons. There were also rumours of reduction of income tax levels once they recover all the black money through the great economic adventure called demonetisation – and we still await for that reduction
• Returns from any kind of investment is in all time low (except stock market which is zooming upwards)

The above list is short as the intention is to address major items. The only thing, which is costing less, now is the data rolled out by telecom companies (maybe Jio was not in vogue few years back).

Apart from the above, there is a new front; I would prefer to call it as  ‘harassment front’.  Most Indians were busy linking something or the other with something to prove their bonafide and existence - presumably to identify and grab black money.  Some people even thought it would help bring back the black money from Switzerland.  For most of us, we have absolutely no subsidy or benefit coming from the Government other than the honourable privilege of paying tax whenever asked for. So, we don’t know what is the intent of this linking which was aimed at preventing leakages. But we still do it hoping for good times or Ache Din.  At some point, the Hon’ble Supreme Court stepped in and said  ‘Wait’ this doesn’t make sense per-se.  hold on till we give our blessings’. For now, people are spared of this circus. Needless to say, we will do this like robots once the highest court gives their nod. 

I know I have tried to take the easy way out to look into this great nation’s problem. But you should ask yourself –does it not make sense to have individual comfort and happiness first as long it doesn’t affect any other person.  I am aware of the claims or defense like ‘structural changes being made’, ‘it’s a long haul’, ‘Country was in a mess till 2014’,‘development is a work in progress’, ‘widening tax base (how does it matter to me when I pay more tax and get less returns), numerous yojanas blah blah blah. While I am all for these lines of thought, on ground, nothing has changed for a middle class Indian. On a personal level, I pay more tax and I also spend more for the same services / goods which I used few years ago. While I understand that expenses can’t come down or it can’t be stable, the rise is abnormal with no value added returns. 

To put things in perspective, it is not pointing a finger at the current government and they come into picture only because of the claim of Ache Dinor the impending Ache Din claim.  This was the case in the past also. Historically this is the situation  middle class is  facing and it will continue to be so.  Middle class has to be law-abiding, tax paying to subsidise all other nonsense, which goes around. 

So, I rest my case with the conclusion that for me ‘ Ache Din’or impending ‘Ache Din’is not visible. I firmly believe this is how one should analyse and pass judgment rather than following talk shows in hyper TV noise channels, relying on WhatsApp forwards or talking about things, which we don’t understand.  

Having said that, we (I take the liberty to write on behalf of middle class) may still vote for Mr. Modi for another term (not sure whether it matters in the overall scheme of things) as the alternate looming around has disaster written all over it.  Hopefully, there will be something positive for us in in the near future though we don’t fit into the vote-bank category, which can make a difference. We don’t want to be king of good times, but a passing good time  (Ache din) will do some good to us.

Of course, Ache din is different for different set of people and everyone should make their own conclusion. So, go for it…. But this is how I would do it!

Vishu Kaineetam in Digital India

As a child growing up in Kerala, the most awaited, exciting  and perhaps the period of epic proportions was the days leading to Vishu (the  Hindu New year celebrated in Kerala and few other parts in India).  It has always been the time leading to impending happiness arriving in the form of ‘Vishu Kaineetam’.  From time immemorial, on the Vishu day, all elders in the family will give 'Vishu Kaineetam' to all those who are younger to them in age, usually in the form of new coins. In olden days, it used to be a major event that required micro level financial planning for a kid.  I still recall maintaining a scrapbook with  noting and calculations of estimated collection (including the potential targets), the collection of the previous year, any new targets, end use of money etc.  To quote from a Bryan Adam’s song, “Those were the best days of my life.”

Let’s cut to the present, the situation in today’s India which is Digital India and I wonder how do we handle this payment/ receipt, which is predominately in cash? We have not received an email or SMS from the Government on how to handle this ‘difficult situation’ of transacting in cash. As on date, there is no circular from the Government on how to make and receive Vishu Kaineetam and related reporting requirements.  As I sit down to ponder over the developments in India in the past few months, I was wondering whether someone would come up with a regulation to handle Vishu Cash payments. My thoughts ran wild as I ended up drawing an imaginary circular from the Government to control the menace of black money, which will arise through the traditional Vishu Kaineetam ritual. It will perhaps read like this…

• This circular is aimed at curtailing the menace of black money being generated, circulated and laundered through the age-old tradition of Vishu Kaineetam
• An individual is entitled to give Vishu Kaineetam of maximum Rs. 500/- per person with an aggregate limit of Rs. 5000/- to all persons.
• The Vishu Kaineetam can only be paid during 2 days starting from April 14, 2017 and ending on April 15, 2017.
• Any payment in excess of Rs. 300/- per person should be paid through net banking or digitally using PAYTM, Bhim etc. or such other digital payment modes to be notified by the Government in this regard
• Vishu Kaineetam can be given only to close Relatives. For this purpose, Relatives will be the donor’s spouse, sisters, brothers, father, mother, daughter and son
• Remittance from abroad towards Vishu Kaineetam should be through proper banking channels and should comply with the conditions stipulated by Reserve Bank of India in this regard including the reporting requirements stipulated therein
• Within 7 working days of Vishu, every Donor who has made payment in cash towards Vishu Kaineetam and every recipient should report the transactions online in the attached format quoting the PAN number, Aadhar Number of the recipient and payee.
• Vishu Kainettam to any persons who does not have PAN / Aadhar will not be permitted. However, Vishu Kaineetam to kids below the age of 3 will not require Aadhar or PAN and for such payments, the Aadhar/ PAN details of the parent or guardian to be quoted while reporting online
• The Government reserves the right to amend the contents of this circular without any notice whatsoever and …
• This could be a never ending list…so let me pause here! But trust me Bankers have already sensed some business here.   see this... http://keralaitnews.com/5792/federal-bank-to-offer-digital-kaineettam-on-vishu

While I agree that I may be going overboard with this but think about it…. Aren’t we living in a situation like this now?  Nothing surprises us anymore.

Coming to the reality, I was just using the festival atmosphere to dwell on issues, which are troubling me, and I believe, troubling the middle class off late.

The age-old tradition of milking the same cow continues with imposing restrictions after restrictions on the middle class while the lower strata of the society and the upper strata are relatively insulated. 

While I appreciate and applaud the bold move of demonetization, the way in which it was rolled out is quite amusing. What started off as a fight against black money, counterfeit currency and containing militancy, took different narratives over a period of time and now rests at ‘Making India Cashless’.  I firmly believe that the whole thing is being overdone and it is a question of time for the flaws to emerge, if not emerged already.  For e.g., By-elections cancelled due to cash for vote scam in one place and postponed due to Militancy in another.  On the cash for vote scam - Where did this money, which runs into crores come from? How did they get so much cash in new notes? On the Militancy issue, as per media reports, the by-election in Srinagar Lok Sabha constituency recorded 2% turnout with an overall voting percentage of 7% (a historical low). People do not expect answers to any of these as we are used to these and we will manage.  Oh Darling Yeh Hai India… Sab chalta hai!

Another development, which didn’t make any sense, was the farmer loan write-off. While I do respect and understand the trouble the farmers are going through, it is a crime to write off Rs 30,000 Crore plus of loans without any diligence. I am sure other governments will follow suit and the middle class will bear the brunt.  The people who are repaying loans (including the farmers who repaid) look like fools.  What is the incentive for honest borrowers?   I take the liberty to borrow the Hon’ble Reserve Bank of India Governor Mr. Urjit Patel’s view here.  He has gone on record to say, “The populist farm loan waiver program set to be rolled out across Uttar Pradesh poses another risk for inflation, undermines an honest credit culture”.

On one side, you are squeezing every penny out of the middle class, predominantly salaried class who can be cornered and then using the same money to write off huge loans.  What economic sense does this make?

The nail in the coffin would be the obnoxious power given to the Banks.   Banks, Private and Public are given a free hand to squeeze money from customers by way of minimum balance requirement, transaction charges beyond xx number of transactions etc. 

If the intention is to bring more people into banking folds, this does not add up. It’s just insane!

This list of grievances will go on and on, so I would prefer to stop at this.   Having said that, I had and will continue to support the initiatives to curb black money and revive the economy, but the lackadaisical manner in which it is being done, with no tangible result in sight really pains me.   We are constantly living in the world of promises and we will get used to this.  As they say… this too will pass.  But, anxiously awaiting the Ache Din…….

Going back to the beginning……… Happy Vishu and let us enjoy Vishu and Vishu Kaineetam till it gets regulated.